Eye of the Beholder
by InsideOutlaw
Summary: An ugly event at Devil's Hole is viewed by multiple witnesses.
1. Chapter 1 Kid

**Chapter One - Kid**

My partner is a peaceable man for the most part. This won't come as much of a surprise to folks as I am the one with the reputation of violence due to my natural born talent with a gun.

The gang, however, has a slightly different viewpoint than most folks. Heyes rarely loses his temper with them; almost never raises his voice neither but, somehow, they are all terrified of him. Even Wheat who will push Heyes further than anyone at the Hole 'sides me. Wheat hides it well, but he's scared of Heyes. He makes sure he never crosses the line completely. He always knows just when to stop.

I know I can straighten the boys out with a move to my sidearm, but Heyes can freeze them in their tracks with nothing more than the "look". They fall all over themselves getting out of his way after being on the receiving end of that look. I reckon even I can sometimes feel that way when it's leveled at me, though I'd never let Heyes see it. 'Course, I've been there when that look was followed up with some pretty rough action. Heyes does have a tipping point and when he passes it, all hell breaks loose.

Another thing, most people don't know is that my partner is a real animal lover. Growing up on a farm like we did; there were animals everywhere. Myself, I pretty much viewed them as walking chores. I hated feeding the chickens and fetching the eggs. Those birds sure were ugly tempered to a small boy.

Heyes was always playing with the animals. Stealing rides on the plow horses, chasing the pigs; even trying to teach the chickens to fly. Might be 'cause he was an only child. I guess I was too busy trying to make my place in the world as one of six kids to have much time for frivolous things such as fooling with the livestock, though I've always treated my animals well.

Heyes had himself a dog for a while as a kid. A big, goofy, black dog that followed him like the sun rose and set on his shoulders. Heyes liked that real well. I think he wanted the same from me, but I wasn't willing. That dog couldn't take his eyes off Heyes. I remember him showing up at my house one day with the dog. Heyes called him Wellington after some famous English guy. Said Wellie just showed up as he was walking across our cornfield. After that, you never saw Heyes without Wellington. That is until the day our folks died. Heyes never said, but I reckon Wellie died right along with them 'cause Heyes had tied him up when we ditched our chores to go fishing. He didn't want ol' Wellie giving us away. I tried to ask what had happened to him soon after, you know; but Heyes wouldn't say. Wouldn't even look at me when I asked, just walked away, and I knew better than to ever ask again.

We had mice at Devil's Hole. They got everywhere and into everything they could. One day, Heyes took off for town by himself to get supplies. Said he had something special he needed and didn't want help. He showed up the next day with a litter of four male kittens. No women were allowed in the Hole, after all. They were orange and white tabbies like the ones he'd had as a kid. The boys were all pretty excited. Not only did they see an end to the mouse situation but they liked the kittens, too. Guess it made us all feel a bit like kids again. Heyes said he'd named them Lucifer, Beelzebub, Scratch, and Satan since they were going to be residents of Devil's Hole.

Those cats grew up spoiled. We all enjoyed the heck out of having them around and there wasn't a one of us at one time or another who didn't have ourselves a favorite, but we all knew Lucifer was Heyes's. They just had a natural affinity for each other. Heyes let him sleep on his bed and have the run of the leader's cabin. I wasn't too happy about that as I was raised that all animals belonged outside, but I couldn't argue it with him as that cat made him too damn happy. I saw him come in the cabin at times and look around for Lucifer just to be sure he was there. Many times, I'd wake up in the dead of night and I'd find Heyes sitting in his chair by the fire with that cat on his lap, talking over the next job with him. The boys and I all knew Heyes loved that cat, though he'd die before he admitted to loving anything on God's green earth.

The day Walt Oakley and his brothers, Carl and Sam, rode in I knew they were trouble. They all looked trail worn and hungry; and their horses looked worse. They said they'd been chased by a posse for the past week and came into the Hole seeking shelter for a spell until things died down. Heyes and I exchanged a glance. We both wanted to send them on their way, but we both knew we couldn't. Heyes called Kyle and Lobo over to take the Oakley's horses and he told Walt and his brothers they could bed down in the barn. They weren't too happy about that. Thought they ought to be welcomed in the bunkhouse with open arms. I knew Heyes was pissed about the beaten, starved look to their horses and there was no way he'd give them better.

Anyways, later that same night, sometime after we'd all settled in; we heard a horrible yowling coming from the direction of the barn. Heyes had been sitting at the table in our cabin working on some plans. He was on his feet and out the door before I knew it. I scrambled to catch up with him, but had to drag my boots on while trying to keep up. The boys spilled out of the bunkhouse at the same time we rounded the corner of the barn. There, pinned to the wall by a knife through his tail, was Lucifer screaming and howling. The Oakley boys were sitting in front of a stall, laughing and falling across each other in glee. Carl Oakley had his knife sheath out and we could all see it was empty.

Heyes freed Lucifer, who was clawing and crying something fierce, but Heyes held onto him tight until he could pass him off to Preacher; asking him to doctor Lucie up. What happened next, happened fast. In one move, Heyes crossed the aisle, seized Carl by his shirt front and proceeded to beat the living daylights out of him. The rest of us, who had them, held our guns real steady on his brothers so as to be sure there'd be no interruptions. The fight didn't last long, but it was brutal. I don't think Carl had a tooth left in his head or a rib unbroken by the time Heyes was finished. When Carl finally lost consciousness, we were all relieved. Heyes dropped him to the ground like a discarded rag doll, and you could tell he was looking around to see who was to be next. The boys were stunned. They always knew Heyes could be dangerous, but hadn't ever seen firsthand what happened when he lost control. I had.

Times like this the rage in Heyes makes itself known. It didn't matter that Carl was 40 pounds heavier and 3 inches taller than Heyes. There ain't no way for a man to defeat that kind of anger.

We all stood there for a moment afraid to move or breathe. Then Heyes hauled Carl up and shoved him at his brothers telling them to clear out right then and there. Turning, Heyes stalked out of the barn leaving the rest of us to make sure the Oakleys got on their way.

Lucifer lost part of this tail that night and it spooked him bad. Preacher fixed him up as best he could, but Lucie was never quite the same after that. It took Heyes a few days to return to himself, too. We all gave him lots of room until he did.

None of the boys ever talk about that night but, of course, Lucifer was a constant reminder of what happened when you crossed Heyes bad enough. I know my partner, and I know he was ashamed of losing his temper like that, but I was proud of what he'd done. The boys and me know that Heyes takes care of his own and, all of us, even the critters; were his own.


	2. Chapter 2 Cal Brunton

**Chapter Two- Cal Brunton**

Sure, I rode with the Devil's Hole gang for a spell. It wasn't a good fit for me, though.

I remember meeting them hoo-rahing it up in Blackhawk one summer. Like everyone else in the west, I knew who Kid Curry and Hannibal Heyes were. Weren't many living outlaw legends at that time, and I was pleased to meet them while they were still breathing. I'd been down on my luck and was drifting from town to town looking for work. Fortunately, I could play a fair game of poker and that's what kept me from starving.

Just so happened that Heyes sat down to a game I was in. He was a real polite sort and introduced himself nicely to the rest of us. We were all surprised to hear his name, though it seemed to me like a wanted man ought to be a bit more circumspect. That was before I noticed Curry at the bar. He was looking us all over real careful-like making damn sure we knew who he was and why he was there. It still makes me shiver to think of him eying me that way.

Anyways, Heyes was friendly enough. He had this big, infectious smile that just drew you in. I found to my surprise that I liked him real well. He was an honest player which was something I didn't expect from a man who made a living from stealing. We were both having luck with the cards that night and had each built up a nice pile of chips. As their money dwindled, the other players dropped out one by one until it was just the two of us left. I guess I got a bit cocky about holding my own with Hannibal Heyes. It was well known that he was one of the best players the game had seen and I was doing pretty good that night. I challenged him all in and shoved my chips to the center of the table. He grinned at me and asked me if I was sure. I hesitated for a moment. That pile of cash could've seen me through the next few months in style, but then I realized we had drawn a crowd. I couldn't back down. I wouldn't. I was sure I had the winning hand and I wasn't going to be bluffed out of it.

He beat me good with a royal flush. I just about died when he reached out to rake in the chips. I guess I'd let my poker face drop with the shock of losing my nest egg. He looked hard at me and softly asked if he'd cleaned me out. My Ma always said I was too proud for my own good and I told him no, he hadn't. He saw the lie, though, and offered to stand me to a beer. I agreed and we stepped over to the bar to join his partner.

Now my first impression of Curry had been a scary one, but after a while I realized he was a real nice fellow, too. You'd never guess they were outlaws and famous ones to boot. Funny, I can't remember at all what we talked about, but I know we had a fine time. By the end of the evening, Heyes was a bit tipsy. Curry hadn't touched much alcohol, him being at work and all. I was feeling no pain myself when Heyes put his arm around my shoulder and said, "Cal Brunton, I like you. How about you join up with us for a while? The Hole is a good place to spend the winter. What do you say?"

Hell, I should've said no but the thing about Heyes is you just always want to tell him yes no matter what hare-brained scheme he was talking you into. I knew a bit about the Devil's Hole gang and I knew they didn't hold with violence and that was important to me. I'd been on the wrong side of the law a time or two but I never hurt nobody. So I agreed to ride back with them.

That how I came to join the Devil's Hole gang. How I left it is a longer story.

I'd been with the gang for the winter and had fit in pretty well. I got along with the boys well, and got to be good friends with a couple of them, too. We'd done well with a few jobs and I was feeling lucky to have joined such a successful gang. But, by that spring, I was beginning to notice a few things.

Heyes really is a genius. No one soaks up knowledge like he does. He hears or reads something once and he knows it forever; and he loves figuring stuff out, too. Not just robberies, but real stuff. He has this pocket watch. It's an old dented up thing but it must have some sentimental value because he keeps it with him always. One train job, Kyle went a bit overboard on the dynamite. The debris blew sky high and Heyes got hit pretty hard by a branch knocked off a nearby tree. Caught him right across his belly and knocked the wind out of him. Kid got to him quick and helped him up. We could all see he was okay so we hung back knowing that the Kid would be pissed at the mishap.

Well, Heyes reached into his pocket to check how much time was left before the posse arrived. He was forever timing stuff. Had to have it all planned out to the minute and every man better know his part. Anyways, he looked at that watch, held it to his ear, shook it a bit and then let loose with the bluest language I'd ever heard. That night, the light stayed on in the leader's cabin and the next day Heyes had that watch up and running just fine.

Now Kid's a different story, but Kid's his own sort of genius, too. He has a way with people that's just plain amazing. He's not at all like you'd think he'd be. I'd expected a famous gunnie like him would be a cold man, but when you talk to him, he really listens. He makes you feel like he honestly cares about you. He gives good advice, too. He hears what you're saying and also what you're not saying. While Heyes can fix darn near anything, I do believe that Kid could fix darn near anyone. I also believe he has spent most of his life trying to fix Heyes.

Heyes didn't bond well with people. Oh, not with the Kid. Those two are as thick as, well, thieves. They've been together their whole lives from what I hear and it shows. But with other folk, Heyes was kinda reserved. It's like he wants to keep them at a safe distance. It's that way sometimes with smart folk. He ain't quite the same as you and me and he knows it. He does have a healthy ego, but it's something else. Sure he's real friendly, but you just know something's off. All of us knew it, but we didn't know why. I guess it was instinct. Kind of the way an animal can smell trouble. It kept us all just a little on edge around Heyes. It wasn't anything he did, we just sensed there was something real dark under all those smiles and grins.

The animals didn't sense it, though. Heyes had a way with animals that you don't often see. He could make a horse do anything. I never saw a rider like him before or since. There isn't a horse he can't sit. There were times it was hard for the rest of us to keep up with him when a posse'd be chasing us.

Heyes wasn't just a good rider, he was a genuine horseman. Many a night, we'd arrive back at the Hole bone tired after a long ride and Heyes would make sure each and every horse was rubbed down, fed and watered before any of us were. He said it was our jobs to do for our horses as they took care of us. It was smart, too. Those animals meant the difference between prison and freedom. He didn't hold with any rough treatment of the horses and made sure we all knew it. A lot of us were farm boys and didn't think much one way or another about animals beyond whether they were good for eating or good for riding. We knew what was good for us, though, and that was to treat our mounts kindly when Heyes was around.

Heyes had a cat, too. A big orange and white tomcat named Lucifer. There were a bunch of cats at the Hole, but this one had singled Heyes out as the only human worthy of his attention. It had the run of the leader's cabin and lorded it over all of us; even the Kid. Heyes was a strong leader. He had to be running an outlaw gang. Any sign of weakness on his part and he'd be finished. He had a weakness for that cat, though. I saw him several times through the window of the leader's cabin, sitting by the fire, stroking that cat and talking up a storm to it. I never said anything to the boys. I figured the man had a right to take comfort where he could.

It was the night the Oakleys brothers rode into Devil's Hole that I decided to leave.

They were a rough bunch and you could see straight off that they were cruel. Their horses were in sad shape and I saw Heyes looking them over with a hard set to his jaw. I was hoping he'd turn them away and was a bit surprised when he didn't, but hospitality is expected out here and it's no different with outlaws than it is with the ordinary folk. Instead, he made them bed down in the barn. We all had us a good snicker over that.

That night, we had a card game going in the bunkhouse when we heard this awful ruckus out by the barn. The boys and I hurried out to see what was up just in time to see Kid and Heyes arrive at the barn. One of them Oakley boys, Carl, had pinned Heyes's cat to the wall with his pigsticker.

Carl Oakley was a big man and when Heyes went for him we all thought Heyes wasn't thinking it through. Heyes wasn't thinking at all, he was way beyond thinking. I never saw anything like it. Heyes was all fists and knuckles. Oakley didn't have a chance. Heyes ain't a big man, but he's real wiry and fast. He was always joking with Kid about being as fast as a whipsnake, but I'll can tell you he's way faster than that. It got downright ugly and I hated watching it. Finally, it was over and Heyes stood over Carl panting hard with a crazed look in his eye as he looked around. Nobody moved for a long time. We were afraid to. It was like being in a room with a rabid dog. You just didn't want to do anything to draw attention to yourself.

Even Kid was watching him closely. Finally, he caught Heyes's eye and Heyes lost that wild look. Heyes picked up Carl by his shirt front and told him and his brothers to clear out. Then he left us all standing there with our mouths open and stomped his way back to the cabin. We ran the Oakleys out of the Hole that night and we were glad to do it.

We didn't see Heyes for the next few days, but the Kid made a point of stopping in and talking to us. He didn't say much, but he told us that Heyes couldn't abide cruelty. Said they'd seen too much as kids to ever tolerate it. It was the most either of them ever said about their past life and it left us all wondering.

All of us were shaken up by Heyes's assault on Carl. Not that Oakley didn't deserve it, he did. It was seeing Heyes like that. We talked long into that night about what we had seen. It was like for just one moment, Heyes was an animal himself. You've got to understand; normally he's one of the most controlled, civilized men you're likely to meet. He's ruled by his brain, not his heart. But that night, it was as if his brain shut down and his heart became a savage place. The rest of the boys laughed it off. Some of them were proud of Heyes's performance, but not me.

I learned a few things that night. I'd known that Kid had the capacity for violence. Hell, he's a gunman isn't he? But I had also seen how he held it back and only used the violence when all else failed. I'd seen that as heroic. To me, he was a good man in a rough life. I could live with that.

Heyes, though, he shook me up bad that night. He was basically a good man, too, but I saw then that he was holding onto an ugly, corrosive anger that ate at him. That darkness in him we all sensed held a rage born from pure evil. Heyes had kept it boxed up real well, but now that I knew it was there it changed things for me. I had admired him so much; now I feared him more than a little. That- I couldn't live with.

I guess it had been stupid of me to think the Devil's Hole gang was something special. I'd thought of us as high-spirited boys having a good old time. I wasn't too smart in those days. Sure, we never shot anyone, but we stole what wasn't ours and took pleasure in it. I started wondering about how many people we'd hurt in other ways besides the physical, and the answer stuck in my craw.

The next morning, I told Kid I was moving on. He nodded like he wasn't surprised and wished me well. I never did see Heyes again. I didn't think I wanted to. I rode out that afternoon and it was the last I ever saw of the two of them. I'd heard a few years later that they'd gotten an amnesty. It was nice to hear and I hoped that it gave Heyes some peace to get out of that life.

I've thought of that night many times and I realized you can't really know a man like Heyes. He'll only let you see what you wanted to see, the rest he keeps to himself. I guess nobody gets to be the leader of the most successful bunch of outlaws the West has ever seen without being a dangerous man.

Funny how everyone, me included, saw Heyes as the smart guy who needed a gunhawk to do his dirty work. While Kid watches Heyes's back, he's also watching Heyes. It's him that keeps Heyes human. Without Kid, we'd all be in a whole mess of trouble.


	3. Chapter 3 Lobo

**Chapter Three - Lobo**

Lobo? It was Big Jim Santana that first called me that. When I first came to the Hole, I was a surly kid of fifteen. I kept to myself that first year, so Jim took to calling me Lobo. It's Mexican for wolf. I'd drifted down on my own from Oklahoma Territory after my stepfather threw me out. My folks had been early settlers. My Pa had given up teaching in Illinois to settle on a piece of piss-poor land out in the middle of nowhere. He died trying to stay on that ugly scrap of land. My Ma remarried too fast to a man who didn't want any competition from me. He threw me out when I turned 13. I was big for my age, though, and had a fifh grade education thanks to my Pa. I got some odd jobs here and there and addedthem with what I could steal. Eventually, I drifted into the Hole.

I was there when Heyes joined up. Santana had heard rumors of this skinny kid with a funny name who had a knack for manipulation. That's what it's called when you can open a lock like Heyes does. Jim had sent out word that he wanted to meet up with Hannibal Heyes. Heyes heard about it, and caught up with us in a saloon outside of Tie Siding, Wyoming. He must've been about twenty at the time. He'd ridden a few years with the Plummer gang and one or two others. It never worked out well for him, though, so he was looking to make a change.

It wasn't hard to figure out why it never worked for him. He was an arrogant cuss. Walked right up to Big Jim's table and pulled up a chair without asking. Me and Wheat had seen him coming and pulled iron on him on account of the way he had his gun tied down. He never so much as blinked. Passed us by as though we weren't there at all and sat down like he owned the place. Big Jim was amused and handled it well. He asked Heyes who he thought he was and Heyes replied, with this big smartass grin, that he was the answer to Jim's prayers. I guess it was kind of love at first sight for the two of them, because Big Jim starting laughing and Heyes joined right in. Before the rest of us knew it, Heyes was a member of the gang.

The way Big Jim took to Heyes rubbed some of us the wrong way; especially Wheat. He was second in command, but Big Jim never treated him with much respect. Wheat was a good soldier and knew his job, but he lacked imagination. Heyes was a different story. Jim respected him right off. We pulled our first job without dynamite about two weeks after Heyes arrived. We hit the bank just before midnight and nobody knew it'd been robbed until the manager came in the next morning to find the open safe and no money. We were back to the Hole before anyone raised a posse. It was sweet and it went a long way to helping the rest of us accept Heyes.

Heyes was odd, though. They called me Lobo, but he was the lone wolf. He was friendly enough, I guess, but you never really felt like he had much interest in being a part of the gang. He didn't hang around with the rest of us much. It was more like he figured out that it was a whole lot safer for him than riding alone, so he stayed. He always had his nose in a book. That boy read all the time. I also noticed early on that while he would talk up a blue streak about all sorts of things, he never talked about his past. I used to think he had a pa who beat him like mine did or he'd done something so awful he was trying to forget it. I tried to ask him about it, but I didn't get anywhere.

It wasn't long before Big Jim was calling Heyes up to the Leader's cabin to plan jobs. Soon he'd confab with him right in front of Wheat and the rest of us. Wheat didn't take_** that**_ well at all and it began to show. He'd needle Heyes every chance he got. He liked to make fun of him in front of the gang. Little stuff, like referring to him as a snot-nosed brat, nothing big, just egging him on, but Heyes never let it bother him. I asked Heyes about it one time after we got to know each other a bit better. Heyes said that Wheat was like a school yard bully; all hot air and bluster but no action. I thought it was pretty funny, but Wheat didn't when I told him. Wheat tried to get the rest of us to gang up with him and take Heyes down a peg or two. It didn't work. We all knew that Heyes opening those safes the way he could, made bank robbing a whole lot safer for the rest of us; so we wanted him healthy. Wheat never did call Heyes out on his own; just kept pissing and moaning about him when he thought he had an audience. Once or twice some new guy would show up and lend an ear to what Wheat was saying. It was always fun to see one of the new boys learn the wisdom of leaving Heyes alone. For a skinny kid, he could sure put up a good fight. I guess Kyle was closest to him. Kyle likes everybody. Me? He wasn't a friend of mine. I appreciated Heyes's skills and, later, when Kid arrived and Heyes became leader; I really appreciated knowing they would keep me fed and my pockets full. Heck, we all appreciated that. Even Wheat.

It's funny- all those years Heyes and Wheat rode together they never got along that well. It was only after the Kid and Heyes went for the amnesty that things changed for Wheat. He finally got to be leader and that took a bit of the edge off him. I think he realized it wasn't as easy as it looked. And there was that time they almost hung some kid thinking he was Kid Curry. Wheat tried to get us to ride in to bust out the Kid. I wasn't having any of it. What had they done for me lately that I should risk my neck for them? I was still pissed at Heyes for showing up at the Hole with that lady. Big Jim had come back to the Hole after prison and had thrown Wheat out easy as pie. We'd been excited to have a good leader again. Heyes blew that for us by talking Jim into quitting the game and leaving with him and the woman. Later, we found out it wasn't even the Kid on trial. I don't know what the fuss was; the Kid should've let the idiot hang in his place. I would've. Kid could've started over. He could've lost that reputation he had haunting him and lived the quiet life. Wheat told us that he and Kyle did a big favor for Kid and Heyes by finding the real murderer and bringing him back so I guess it worked out okay.

I saw Wheat once, years later, and he told me that the Kid and Heyes kept in touch real regular. They'd even done a few favors for him every now and then. Who would've thought? I'd heard they'd sold their story for big money to some newspaper after they got their amnesty. Heyes took the money, invested it, and now he and the Kid are doing real well. Wish now I'd ridden out that day with Wheat and Kyle. I always figured Heyes would either end up rich or dead. Yeah, I said Heyes dead, not Kid. Kid was a gunslinger same as me. He knew how to control his temper. You don't live long as a gunhawk if you don't. Heyes isthe big risk taker. That man likes to press his luck something fierce.

It wasn't until the Kid showed up at the Hole that we saw another side of Heyes. He'd always been a real serious kid. Those two hadn't seen each other in a few years, but you'd never know it. Heyes was, and is, a different person when Kid is around. They'd get to being silly. Pulling pranks on each other and the rest of us and laughing their butts off. Putting mud in the coffee pot; that sort of kid stuff. Used to piss us all off. Heyes was never frivolous before Kid came in. It was a real surprise to see that side of him. It was as though, somehow, the Kid was the final piece of the puzzle that was Hannibal Heyes. That was when things really took off. Big Jim had been nailed by the law a month or two before and Heyes had taken over as leader. The vote was in his favor, but it wasn't unanimous, if you get my drift. Kid let us know real fast that he would back Heyes's play and that made it official. Not that there was much to complain about after. The gang did real well under Kid and Heyes. It was a shame they went for that amnesty.

I remember the night the Oakley boys rode in. They were all done in and looking for a place to stay. Heyes put them in the barn. I thought that was pretty rude of him, but later Preacher told me he was mad about their horses. I hadn't noticed much except they looked a bit hungry. Some folks are strange about animals and Heyes is one of them. He coddles his animals and made sure we coddled ours. Why he even let that tomcat live in the cabin! Cats are filthy animals, always bringing in dead things. My Ma would've had a fit. But while Heyes was leader, I kept that particular opinion to myself.

Anyways, the Oakleys were fooling around in the barn that night. Just horsin' around and Carl stuck Heyes's cat to the wall with a knife. Now, that was a bit ugly to me, too. I don't hold with torture, but Heyes went nuts. He beat the crap out of Carl. It scared some of the boys but not me. Hell, my Pa did worse to me when he was bored. It's the law of the wild. You've got to make sure everyone knows who the alpha wolf is.

Heyes threw the Oakleys out of the Hole that night. Wheat, Kyle and me rode along to make sure they didn't get any ideas, if you know what I mean. Walt was philosophical. He knew you don't piss in another man's bathtub. Sam was not so easy going. He kept going on about Heyes. Called him a crazy, sneaky sonavabitch. None of us contradicted him. Sam kept going on about what he'd do to Heyes the next time he saw him. He talked a good fight, but the boys and I smiled at each other. We'd all seen how good Sam backed Carl up. Finally, Walt himself told him to shut it.

Naturally, Carl wasn't feeling too good, but he was doing okay. It wasn't the first beating he'd taken for his lack of judgment and he was sitting his horse okay. He dozed a bit on the ride, but every so often, he'd look up and around at all of us and say mystified, "But, it was only a cat."

Some folks just don't get it.


	4. Chapter 4 Heyes

**Chapter Four - Heyes**

I've always had an affinity for animals. They like me and I like them. I admire anyone or anything that can love freely without reservations. Animals do that all the time. They never ask for anything in return; just the chance to please you. I can't do that anymore. Hell, I'm not sure I ever could.

I was an only child and, while I had a lot of cousins living just down the road, I spent many hours alone caring for and playing with the various critters we had. My Pa taught me early on that it is a man's responsibility to care for those less capable than you and I've tried to live by that. He's gone now, but he taught me well.

When Carl Oakley and his brothers rode in, I knew right off I wanted nothing to do with them. I might be an outlaw, but that doesn't mean I'm cruel. Those three had been riding hard trying to evade a posse for the better part of a week, but that didn't account for the condition of their animals. You can drop a few hundred pounds off a horse in a short time, but you don't get that emaciated, hollow look to them unless you've been neglecting them long term. I looked at their horses and then I looked at them. The Oakleys looked a little too well fed and the comparison didn't go down well with me.

Kid saw it, too. He thinks I'm kind of silly about my critters, says I shouldn't make pets out of them all, but he's kind to his animals, too. I've seen him slipping our horses carrots and apples when he thinks I'm not looking. I make a game of letting him think I've almostcaught him at it. Popping up behind him and startling him. Drives him nuts. I also know how Kid likes to eat and it can be downright scary to see him suck in food; but he is forever dropping little bits of meat on the floor and never quite picking them up before Lucifer gets them. Like the fastest gun in the West can't beat a tomcat to the draw.

When the Oakley's rode in, Kid saw what I saw and he gave me a glance. Kid's a real good man and he doesn't tolerate bullies at all. He was asking me if I wanted him to send them packing. I couldn't do that as much as I wanted to; not with a posse camped outside the Hole. It would've been murder and I don't hold with that. I told them to bed down in the barn instead. Walt caught the insult and narrowed his eyes at me but he could see that was all I'd offer and he took it.

That night I heard Lucifer screaming, and I up and ran towards the sound. It was coming from the barn and I knew that something terrible had happened to him. Maybe a fox had got him, but nothing prepared me for the sight I saw as I entered the barn. Lucifer was pinned to the wall by a knife and the Oakley boys were all sitting around laughing about it like it was funny in some sick way. I saw the empty sheath in Carl's hand and I felt my temper rise. Now, normally I have no trouble controlling my temper, but this wasn't normal. I barely held it together long enough to free Luce and pass him off to Preacher.

I'd meant to rough up Carl a bit and then throw them all out, but I lost sight of that plan real quick. I don't really know what came over me. I'd hauled Carl to his feet and punched him a couple times. He came back at me and got in a few good licks, too. Carl started laughing and then he whispered in my ear, "Jesus, Heyes, it's only a f**king cat. Let it go." Like I shouldn't care that he was torturing Luce because he was only a cat.

I felt my anger slip my control and, as though from real far away, I heard the soldiers laughing, and saying, "c'mon, he's only a farmer. Let it go." I saw it all again. I could smell the blood and taste the fear. I've had nightmares about it before, but never while I was awake. It was as though it was happening all over again and I was there all over again. I've never told anyone this, not even the Kid, but I saw my Pa murdered and I couldn't stop it. I was coming through the woods and had nearly made it home when I saw the soldiers drag him out of our house and kill him. They did it in a real ugly way, too. It all happened so fast. He was dead before I realized it and it dropped me to the ground in my tracks. I've always felt that he saved my life by giving up his.

I guess I dropped Carl as well because when I came back to myself he was on the ground. The gang had gathered around, backing me up as they always do, but they were all looking at me real strange. Kid caught my eye and let me know it was over. I sent the Oakleys packing and put Wheat, Kyle and Lobo in charge of getting them out of the Hole alive.

I could feel the rest of the boys' eyes on me, and I didn't like it so I made a beeline for the cabin. Preacher was there with Lucifer and had calmed him some. Luce didn't really like to be held. He preferred to choose his moments for human contact. Preacher had wrapped him up in the old quilt off my bed. The only things showing were his head and his tail. Preacher had forced a bit of whiskey down his throat to quiet him and it was working. I got out the medical supplies and, with Preacher's help, cleaned Lucifer up as best I could. We couldn't save the tip of his tail so I removed what was left of it and cauterized the stump. Funny, if you pick Luce up he'll claw and squirm until he fights his way loose. This time he hardly twitched when we were working on him. I guess it was shock or the whiskey, but I like to think he knew we were doing our best to help him. He's a really good cat and deserves to be treated with respect.

Finally, we were done and Preacher left. I stoked the fire real high and spent the rest of that night in the rocker in front of it with Luce on my lap. He hardly moved but I could tell he liked the feel of me stroking him so I kept at it. Kid never came back to the cabin that night. He always knows just when I need some space to sort things out and, after that night, I needed a lot of space. I was badly shaken by what I had experienced and I was ashamed of losing control. As for Carl, he got a taste of his own medicine, but I didn't like being the one to give it. Carl is a cruel, ignorant man with no concern for the helpless. Beating him that way brought me down to his level and I hated that.

I kept to myself the next few days. Kid came round to check on me and bring me food, but I wasn't real hungry. I had a lot running through my mind that took away my appetite. I would've liked to talk to Kid about it, but I didn't feel I could. It was all I could do to keep the memories at bay. I didn't want to drag it all up to him. He'd been there and suffered through it the first time. No sense in taking him back there with me. Talking would've helped me in the long run but it might've destroyed both of us there and then. I let him think that I was embarrassed and ashamed by my actions and was licking my wounds. I _**was**_ licking wounds, just not the ones he thought.

Instead, I concentrated on Lucifer. He was a bit fevered the first couple of days, so I sat with him on my lap for most of the day thinking my thoughts and talking things over with him. He's a real good listener and I am a talker. It was comforting and I ended up telling him everything about that day we lost our folks. Seeing the smoke, the look of my Ma after the soldiers finished with her, the look on Jed's face when I found him. I cried a lot, too, which I never do; and I was glad to be free to. It was during that time that I realized that my efforts to heal him were healing me, too. An animal has a way of giving you just what you need the most.

The hardest part about going for the amnesty was leaving the Hole and leaving old Lucifer behind. I found a real good home for him with a widow lady I knew in Belton. She loves cats and they live well with her. I still write to her from time to time just to see how he is. She writes back to me in care of Lom.

She tells me Luce is getting on now but he still has his place on the rocker by the fire. It gives me peace to know that.


End file.
